Worst Albums of March 2014

My post about March 2014's "Most Anticipated Album Releases" was a huge success. It became my 2nd most successful post in January, despite only coming out 2 days before the end of the month. I decided to report on what I thought of March's crop. Which albums underwhelmed? Which ones were decent? And which ones were outstanding?

This is part 1 of a 2 part post! Part 2 will feature the top 3 albums of March!

Worst of March

3. "Recess" by Skrillex
Release Date: March 14th, 2014
Billboard 200 Peak: 4
1st Week Sales: 48,000
My Score: 51

Recess kind of came out of the blue this month. Overflowing with speaker melting dub step-esque, Recess features lots of the same material just barely tweaked to sound "fresh". To be fair, Skrillex previously made a name for himself with largely successful EPs Scare Monsters and Nice Sprites and Bangarang in 2010 and 2011. Those efforts were a breath of fresh air into the dying genre that receives little to no attention from mainstream audiences. With Recess, Skrillex serves up a random assortment of leftovers that nobody wants anymore. The tracks just don't connect like those found on his previous releases did. "Dirty Vibe" is the only somewhat entertaining track to listen to on this disappointment. The title track is also decent. Thankfully, this album isn't the worst album of March. Yes. It gets worse.

2. "Kiss Me Once" by Kylie Minogue
Release Date: March 18th, 2014
Billboard 200 Peak: 31
1st Week Sales: 12,000
My Score: 45

Yes a female pop album worse than Britney Jean exists. The album (Kylie's 12th studio effort) starts off with the perfectly crafted "Into the Blue", tricking the listener into digging deeper into the album. A smile appears on the listener's face. They start track #2. "Million Miles" is a cheap rip off of Madonna's already mediocre "Miles Away" from 2008's Hard Candy. The smile fades. Track #3 starts. "I Was Gonna Cancel" is a repetitive waste. "Sexy Love" is awkward but is at least decent. Then I (as the listener) lose it at track #5. "Sexercize" is attempting to be a "sexy" dubstep themed club smash, but is a disgusting track with an accompanying video zooming in on Kylie's 45 year old behind. Ugh. The next 4 tracks ("Feels So Good", "If Only", "Les Sex" and "Kiss Me Once") are all pathetic and are the story that takes place after the events of "Sexercize". I mean come on; 5 consecutive tracks about having sex? No. Then comes "Beautiful" another low point with loads of auto-tune and a feature from fellow March album releaser Enrique Iglesias. "Fine" is decent but who the hell actually cares at this point? Now onto the 2 bonus tracks. "Mr. President" starts off interesting but quickly morphs into a disgusting mess of squeals, shrieks and shouts. "Sleeping With the Enemy" is actually a great track but it comes way too late in the cycle. This album was poorly planned, front loaded and the decent tracks were completely disgraced by the butt-load of tracks that were filthy, cheesy and plain terrible. This is huge step down for you Kylie. Make another album like Aphrodite.

1. "SEX + LOVE" by Enrique Iglesias
Release Date: March 18th, 2014
Billboard 200 Peak: 8
1st Week Sales: 24,000
My Score: 42

It is extremely sad to see Enrique Iglesias at the bottom of March. Sex + Love and its promotion was all over the place. It wasn't as entertaining as 2010's Euphoria and might be is worst album to date. It starts off with "I'm A Freak", Enrique's 5th (count 'em) collaboration with Pitbull within a 4 year span. So far, his collaborations with Pitbull have descended in quality as each new one is released. Flo Rida shows up to ruin "There Goes Me Baby", a track that would have been a decent track without him. "Bailando" is extremely repetitive (though decent) and features two other acts I'm pretty sure no one has ever heard of. The next two tracks "Loco" and "El Perdedor" are both okay but not much more than that. "Let Me Be Your Lover" is even worse than "I'm A Freak" and also features Pitbull (their 6th collaboration). "You and I" is next, and is one of the few tracks from the record that is sung only by Enrique. It builds a beat, but the drop isn't much of a drop. It's more like a fizzle. "Heart Attack" is a legitimate track that is the best of the first 8 tracks. "Me Cuesta Tanto Olvidarte" is mediocre and tries to embrace Enrique's late 90's sound but ultimately fails. "Noche y Día" is actually not a bad track. I like it. Skipping over the other version of previously heard "Loco" we land at "Turn the Night Up". A track that would have been a hit if had less nasty lyrics and less auto-tune. As I noted above "Beautiful" is an auto-tuned mess that could have possibly been a hit in the late 1990s or early 2000s. Then comes the end. "Only A Woman" is okay but too slow and isn't a proper closer. The "Bachata" remix of "El Perdedor" is better than the original, while the "Infantry" remix of "Bailando" makes it worse. There were only about 5 good tracks on this album ("Heart Attack", "Noche y Día", "El Perdedor (Bachata)", "You and I", and "Loco"). I would have picked "Bailando" ("Dancing") as a top track but similarly titled Enrique hit "Bailamos" ("We Dance") is much better and is similarly themed. What a disappointment.